I been involved in a lot of youth sports and BJJ Parents seem better then most.

Just to give you that don't know me well some background.  I have had daughters on a swim team for the last 18 years.  We just spent 5 days in blazing heat in the Inland Empire watching our youngest daughter swim.  I saw many parents who were getting really worked  when their child added time.  They would pull them aside and berate them about their lack of hard work at practice and other problems with their strokes, not being tough enough etc. The parents were really agitated.

 I was sitting with the Coaches when a swimmer from another team came up to his Coach and told him that his mother was going to buy him one of the new $400 swim suits.  He asked the Coach which one would make him swim fastest.  The Coach said if you want to get faster tell your mom to bring you to practice more often.  It will save you the $400.

3 weeks ago I was at American Nationals BJJ tournament and as part of the UFC event they also had a high level youth wrestling tournament, 6 and under, 8 and under, 10 and under, etc in all weight classes These kids had come from all over the country and it seemed like it was most likely an invite only type of tournament because their were lots of individuals there but did not seem to be lots of  full teams of wrestlers and coaches that traveled as a team.   The problem this created is that the kids were coached mostly by the parents.  They let the parents sit around the circle of the mat while their child/athlete competed.  The behavior I saw from these parents was out of control.  In swimming I see parents yell at their kids during the event all the time but the kids heads are under water and the swimmer rarely can hear a parent yelling.  During the Wrestling Matches the parents were sometimes inches from their athletes face yelling at them not to be a quitter and getting very upset.  I saw 3 times where they had to bring in an extra referee to stand between the Parents and the kids.  Then when the match was over the parents went crazy.  Now just to be fair it was a very intense environment, these kids were competing at a very high level.  I saw 8 year olds doing suplexes on other wrestlers.  I was very impressed with the skill set of the kids who attended this tournament and I would guess that most of them were state champions or region champions and none of them were used to getting beat.  You could see it in almost every match.  When one kid knew he was not as good as the kid he was going against the tears started to fall.  The amount of intensity that was there was incredible.  I think the kids were crying because they had a fear or disappointing their parents more then actually losing the match.  I would really like to take some of these kids and see if they are qualifying for NCAA's in 8-12 years.

Then two weeks ago I was at the Kids World BJJ tournament.  First the quality of the kids was great.  The parents did not seem to be too over the top.  Sure they were cheering and holding up signs but for the most part the  parents accepted defeat easily and complimented their child on a job well done.  Only once did I see a Parent get upset and that was because the kid started crying and ran to the edge of the mat and fell down crying uncontrollably.  I am not sure if the parent was upset about the kid losing or the behavior afterward.   The parents seemed to be much better.

My question is why?  My short answer is that most parents in swimming and wrestling have an existing knowledge of the sport.  They may have participated in it in the past and they think they have the ability to coach their kids.  I think with BJJ it is so new to most parents they really don't understand it well enough to be obnoxious.  Do you think there is validity  to this or are  BJJ Parents just more respectful then other Sport's parents?

The Key to Longevity in BJJ is to tap quick

I have been fortunate  to win a few tournaments.  First of all let me tell you I'm not that good.  I have been able to win because I compete in an Older Age Group (Masters 5) I have been able to catch some of my best competitors right after a match so they are already tired.  I am pretty good at defending submissions and I know how to score points.

I talk with many of my fellow competitors and I have come to the conclusion that we are doing this for fun not to kill each other and no one wants to have to be carried off the mat.  In fact most of the time we talk this is what we talk about.  Now let me tell you that everyone goes hard and tries their best to win but in the long run most of us would rather lose with a quick tap then win and limp for a week because we were ahead on points and we were able to deal with the ankle  lock the guy put on us.

We have heard many say that BJJ is like Chess.  Move, counter move,  staying one step ahead of your opponent, bait them into doing a move that will benefit you etc.  I agree but one thing that Older Guys seem to get that younger guys don't is that when the other guy has done a move and has got you in the Submission Correctly the Older Guys just tap and say good job and aren't willing to break an arm to get out of a arm-bar or willing to risk an ankle injury because you wanted to fight off that ankle lock,  Old guys know they have been beat and they tap,  Recovery time takes too long for an old guy to warrant fighting off the nasty joint lock submissions.

I am not saying that young guys should tap earlier  but I am saying that there is a reason we are old guys and can still train and compete.  It is because we use discretion when it comes to knowing when we are beat.   I think this is good counsel when it comes to extending your BJJ life,

I know it is sometimes hard for you young bucks to tap to an old guy a lower belt or a female but in the bigger picture just give them  credit for pulling off the move correctly tap and move on,  You will be better off for it in the long run,

For most of us it is a Hobby not a Job and sometimes we may weekend Warrior ourselves out of training,

What is the benefit of competing in Jiu Jitsu Tournaments.

First let me say that I think it a huge benefit to all to compete.  I have several  very good friends that just don't want to compete.  I understand the anxiety that comes with competing.  I also understand the ego bruise that can result if you don't fare well in your competition.  I also understand the pressure building up to the competition and how it may affect your personality and of course I understand the hated weight cutting that is also associated with competing so with all that going on with competitions you may ask why I think it is a benefit to compete so let me explain.

1.  When you compete it makes you a little more dedicated to BJJ.  It does not matter who dedicated you are if you are signed up for a competition you will be a little more motivated to make it to practice.

2.  It is a good opportunity to see where you stand in comparison with others in your division, weight class and belt rank.  If you think about it this is not like running etc where you have no chance to getting a medal because of some of the top notch people involved.  Sure they still have age groups in other sports but have you ever been to a swim competition where they only have you compete against people your same size?  Belt Rank is a little different because even though most other sports do not have belt rank they do have novice, beginner and expert divisions which can differentiate the athletes skill level.

3.  It is good to practice the discipline it takes to make weight and get ready for a tournament.  I had a tournament last weekend and because of some confusion  on my side ended up with no one in my weight class.  (It is a long story but I they sent me an email and I thought I had a match but didn't)  I still feel I benefited by the preparation it took to get ready for the tournament.  Just think about how hard you would study in school if you were never required to take a test.  I think everyone in the gym benefits when some of the people compete.

Not just to give a simple way to deal with the above issues of competing.
Anxiety can be dealt with by just becoming more familiar with the competitions.  I still get butterflies every time I compete but the more I compete the better I seem to be.

No one wants to be embarrassed in front of their family and peers.   I can tell you all the team mates I have that have competed have received the utmost respect from everyone at the gym.  Maybe a family member or friend might not understand the courage it takes to compete but that is okay.  They have to understand that there is only one winner in your division and sometimes the other guy is just better.  No big deal.  That is just life.  In fact as funny as it sounds losing actually helps in this instance because it lowers the expectations of your friends and family.

You can be a little edgy before a competition and add cutting weight into the mix and you can be a whole different personality.  Last week I h
ad one daughter turn 22 the week before I had a daughter turn 29 and that sandwiched Father's Day.  I had to limit myself on some of those dinners and desserts that I would usually partake of.  I could not just sit around and snack with the family.  I felt it made me irritable and not very fun to be around.   I have to say that all of that was caused by me.  I could have chosen to go at a weight I would not have to cut for and that would have made me much happier.

I think you should try to compete at least every 4 months.  That would be 3 times a year.  I think if you do you will see a noticeable difference in your progression.  The difference does not really come from the few minutes on the mats during the competition but the hours in the gym preparing for the competition.

BJJ has really increased my Social Circles.

I am not sure how the rest of you feel about this but I can tell you in the 2 1/2 years I have been doing BJJ my Social Circles have really increased.

It used to be I just new some people that I worked with or saw at Trade Shows or other work related functions,  People from Church and people from our swim team and parents of swimmers that my daughters have competed and continue to compete with but now that I am doing BJJ I have 100's of new friends that I did not even know existed and these guys really are true friends with what seems to be no hidden agendas.

The beauty of this is that we all need each other to improve.   You cannot be the guy that always wants to do the technique but never have the technique done on you.  We all benefit by the other guy being there.  I have trained on the East Coast, West Coast, Mid West, Rocky Mountains, and China and Hong Kong and it is the same at all places.  People welcoming me with open arms regardless of my age, experience, or other factors that may cause me to be stereotyped in other sports.  I find this as truly one of the best aspects of the BJJ Journey.  I have been around a while and played Golf and Tennis in the past when I traveled.  With Tennis you pretty much needed to show up to the Courts with a partner and if you got there without a partner it was only fun if you found someone who has a similar skill set to what you had.   If they are too good and you couldn't even return their serve then it is not fun for you or for them.  If you are a lot better then your opponent it is also boring for you and not fun for them.  Golf is a little different as long as you can keep the ball in play and not slow down your foursome you can show up as a Single and still be okay but there is still not the camaraderie that you see in BJJ and if you get someone you are playing with that is super intense then it can ruin the whole round for the whole group and we are talking ruining 4-5 hours not just a 5-8 minute roll if you get stuck with an idiot.

A good example is the other day I was working out at Brea Jujitsu

.  There was a new guy there.  He was from Sweden.  He had competed as an Adult Blue Belt at Worlds and was staying over to see Southern California.  Dan being the good guy he is offered to let him stay at his gym.  (He had several people stay at his gym leading up to Worlds and I was able to meet and roll with them and then he had a few stay afterwards and Simon was one of them.  He did not have a car and was living on the mats at the Gym.  After Saturday AM workout I was going to the Beach to drop off my daughter for a Swimming Birthday Party and asked him if he wanted a ride to the Beach.  He said sure I took him to the Beach.  I live very close to the gym so I asked him if he wanted to come over for Sunday Dinner if he was still around.  He said yes.  He came over and taught my wife some Swedish so she could talk to a Nephew she has in Stockholm and if was all good. He told us about his BJJ journey.  He had left Sweden a few months ago went to England to train at Roger Gracie's place in England and then wen to Brazil for 3 months to train.  He stopped by after worlds and that is where we met him.    Then he took off later that day either heading North to Santa Barbara or South to San Diego.  He knew Jujitsu and the people who practice it would take care of him while he was here.  I'm not sure I would ever just take off hoping BJJ would take care of me for 6-8 months but I do feel a certain camaraderie at BJJ that I don't feel at other places.

OSS!

JiuJitsu with a Mormon Missionary.

I am a member of the Mormon Church.  I have been for over 50 years.  Currently my job in the Church is to take care of the Missionaries that serve in our local unit.  I talk to them a few times a week and usually feed them when no one else in our Ward (name for a local unit) is available.

We see these guys come and go and they are all different.  Different sizes, shapes, personalities and background.  They always travel in two's.  The Missionaries are called Elders.   Currently the Elders serving our area are from Idaho and Indiana.  The Elder from Idaho is a big kid.  Probably goes about 240 and is about 6"5' has some wrestling experience and is a pretty good kid.  He has that personality that everybody loves.  He seems like an easy going laid back kind of guy and people are attracted to him.

So we have them over quite a bit and I have a room set up for working on my BJJ.  It has mats in it and I have showed it to the Missionaries and several members of my ward who have come over to work out with me.

So after dinner the big Missionary says he would like to see how he would do against a Jujitsu guy. He was pretty confident had about 80 lbs and 35 years on me and felt he could take me easily.  So after Dinner we take the stuff out of our pockets go  into the room and I tell him we should probably start from our knees because with him being a big guy we could have easily rolled through the mirror or wall if we started doing take-downs.  (We went in just regular street clothes.  I was wearing a hoodie sweat shirt and a pair of shorts and he took his tie off but was wearing a white shirt and slacks, in retrospect I wish I would have had a Gi big enough for him and we could have changed into Gi's. but I was thinking this was just going to be a demo of sorts).

So anyway we get on our knees and he asks me what our goal is.  I say it is to get the other guy to tap by choking him or putting him or some sort of joint lock etc.  I then said I will probably try to take your back so I can choke you and I started to move around his back to show him what I meant, when he grabbed me with a head and arm and threw me on the mat.  It was on.  He was very aggressive.  I was not ready to start so he caught me completely off guard.  (I was thinking that I was the old guy that should have been my trick)  He was on top of me with a scarf choke and I had his full weight on me.  I thought this was not my plan.  I slowly worked out of it bringing my leg around the back and getting back was able to get a reverse triangle choke on him but it took me about 2 minutes to get there but he was exhausted after that.  At that point he was totally worn out and as we continued I was able to get two armbars (I did not put a lot of pressure on them just enough to get the tap) and then finished him with a mount to Arm Triangle that I had in pretty tight.  At that point we were done.  I would guess about 10 minutes.

I asked him why he went so hard at first and he said he thought I was trying to get some position on him so he needed to react quickly.  We laughed and he gave me a hug and said he has a new respect for BJJ.  I told him to stop by and train if he had some free time.  My wife told me I was an idiot and his companion from Indiana said that he recorded  it on his phone to show the other members.

I learned a couple of things from this.

1.  Never think your opponent is going to go slow.  I remember once I was with Royler Gracie when I as a White Belt.  We took a picture and I put my arm up on his shoulder and he pushed it off.  He told me never let anyone get their arm that close to your neck or they might choke you.  I bet he has had some idiots at Photo Ops try to choke him before.  Always be ready.

2.  Jiu Jitsu really does work for a smaller older guy against a younger much more athletic guy who is much larger then you.  I am just glad it was not a real fight and punches were being thrown.  He could have pummeled me.

3.  I need to set some rules and pull out some Gi's before I just start sparring with people I don't really know  at my house.

I have an addiction and I am happy about it.

I have been doing BJJ for 28 months and I can say that it is a total addiction for me.

Look at the facts.

I am writing this blog right now instead of working on a Project.

I blew off a dinner meeting and extended my stay in Denver by 6 hours so I could train for two days.

I trained in Vegas early, and had my daughter drop off my other daughter at a swim  meet for Warm Ups.  ( I did make it to the swim meet in time to see my daughter swim)

I schedule most of my meetings, conference calls etc around my BJJ Schedule.  I know where I am going to be M, W, F from 11:00-1:00 and T, TH evening from 7:00 - 8;30 and Saturday AM from 11:00-1:00.

I even have worked my Vacation around being near a BJJ Academy and a training schedule.  I must be crazy.

Now for some meat with these Potatoes.

Training as often as a I do has some upside.  As I was driving back to So Cal from Vegas in lots of traffic on Memorial Day I counted how many Black Belts I have rolled with since I started 28 months ago.  I counted 26 different Black Belts I have rolled with at the different academies, my home academy, grapplethons, and Open Mats.  I can remember each one of the 26 and the different lessons they taught me.  (If there is more then 26 then the others must not have been very memorable).

I remember rolling with Young Guys like Gianni Grippo and just how smooth he was.  I rolled with some beasts like Xande who even though they could have just picked me up and thrown me across the gym were very technical with me.  I rolled with a lot of guys in their 30's and 40's some let me work on stuff and just defended, some opposed their will on me.  I have to say I was impressed with all of them and would not question the skills of any of them.  I knew in most cases when I was able to complete a sweep, pass or even submission it is because they let me get to far on a move before they started to counter.

The reason I bring this up is because I rolled with Don Charley last weekend,  Usually I am able to rationalize a roll by thinking that I am older, or lighter, then the guy I rolled with who just kicked my butt.  The problem with Don is that he was older then me (one year) and lighter then me (15 lbs) and was still light years better then me.  This was the first time that I actually felt that  I could become something more then just an old guy that was past his prime and was on the downhill side of life in realtion to my BJJ.  If I can develop a game like Don then I will be able to defend myself against those agressive Blue and Purple Belts in the Future and just wait until they wear down and then work my game on them.

I am so happy that I found BJJ.  It has really given me a new outlook on life and I have met so many friends while visiting and also at my local places.  Guys I would never have even thought about associating with before our now texting me coming over to the house and are truly valued friends.

Here is a picture of 3 of the places I trained last week.  That makes 14 work outs in 14 days.

2 years ago today I almost quit BJJ

Today is my Birthday.  I started BJJ  just over 2 years ago, in February of 2013.  Two years ago today I showed up for a Wednesday morning afternoon class and told them it was my Birthday.  I had told some of the guys before hand that my Birthday was coming up and they joked around that I should come to class that Birthdays were special.

I showed up for Class and everything was good.  People were telling me Happy Birthday and then it came time to roll.  The instructor asked me to get in the Middle of the Mat and said I would be rolling with everyone because it was my Birthday.  I had no idea what was going on.  I thought they were all going to let me submit them as a present to me or at worse it would be like regular sparring and I would just get a chance to spar with everyone.  As I had only been doing BJJ for a few months my stamina and cardio and general BJJ skills were not great and I was not relaxed at all during sparring. I was  very tense and using way to much energy.  The first guy to come at me was a Brown Belt who weighed 60 lbs more then me.  When they said go  he came at me Super hard I tried to match his intensity but he was throwing me around like a rag doll and even though I fought it I tapped maybe 4 times in a minute.  Then the next big upper belt came at me and just beat me up something terrible.  7-8 rolls later the White Belts were having there way with me.  Then I thought it was done and the Black Belts just smiled.  I laid their and could not move.  My heart was pounding out of my chest and I seriously thought I was close to having a heart attack.  I was totally exhausted and I was spent.  I could not believe what had just happened.  I was totally ambushed.  I had never seen this done to anyone else before so did not know what to expect.  All the guys were just laughing at me.  I was embarrassed and ashamed that I was put up for public humiliation in front of my peers to get beat up while everyone just sat and laughed at me, it was very difficult for me.

The real problem here was not  understanding what was going to happen or what to expect.  I was upset and maybe it was just me being too sensitive but as a new guy who had never seen this happen to anyone else before (or since) it caught me off guard.  When I left class that day I am pretty sure no one thought I would ever come back.

I missed going last year on my Birthday so did not get the beat down but I plan to head on on over to class in about an hour let them know it is my birthday and if they want to give me the beat down again I am okay with it because
1.  I know what to expect.
2.  I understand they are not trying to humiliate me in public and
3 I will not try to match their intensity but just play  defensive for the minute each of them has their shot at me.  I am sure I will take the beating much better this time but I also am sure I will still take a beating.

Wish me luck.  I must be a glutton for punishment.