To each his own journey. What if you don't want to compete?

I had a friend who posted on Facebook about to each his own Journey.  I thought many of his suggestions were spot on.  I thought I would share some of them here and add a few of mine.  As I am going from memory and not pasting what he wrote so will be using some liberties with what I write.

First of all let me say that we are older guys and we train BJJ.  We train it because we want to.  We train it because we enjoy it.  We train it because it takes us away from some of our outside issues and we get a chance to get away if even for just a short time.  We also enjoy the camaraderie we have with our younger BJJ enthusiasts.  

There are other influences that make it not as fun.  Outside pressure to compete or to compare ourselves with others.  Pressure to get a BeltPromotion or to be compared to someone who started later then us or so many other things.  These are things that can consume us bring extra stress and anxiety to what normally would be a serene peaceful endeavor and makes us not enjoy it like we normally would.  

Why do we do these things?  Why is it so important to keep up with the Jones?  I know a Black Belt.  He is one of the best BJJ players I know.  He is big (210) strong could do cross fit with the best and also so flexible you would think he was a Gymnast.  He is in his 30's and I have seen him destroy people who compete regularly and win.  I asked him won day why he does not compete at all.  He said he used to but the anxiety it caused was just too much.  He would have to drink the night before he competed to calm down and the things he was doing were not good for his body.  Same thing for a over 50 year old Purple Belt I know.  He has all the assets to be a World Champion but he does not want to compete.  He said that when he competes he becomes a different person.  His Girl Friend would basically have to move out of the house for the month before the competition because he was just that hard to live with.  It was not worth it to him.  He just preferred to work out and spar with the guys and continue to improve his game like that.  

I used to think that you had to compete to improve but I am starting to see that we all have a different BJJ Journey.  It is a hard journey and we have chosen a hard sport to master.  No need by making it more difficult by bringing in things we cannot control and things that cause it to be no fun into the mix.  

Who really thinks people leave their ego at the Door?

When I first started BJJ I heard this all the time.  "Leave the Ego at the Door" or how humbling this sport was.  I agree that the BJJ is humbling but I think the "Leave the Ego at the Door" concept only applies to those lower belts, lighter or older guys and most women and juveniles. .

I think the leave the Ego does not work for higher belts who are heavier and more athletic then their opponents.  As an Older BJJ Blue Belt  I find that when I spar with lower belts, guys lighter then me, or women we have good rolls no matter what happens.  They can catch me in a position and I tap or I can catch them in a position and they tap.  When I spar with Higher Belts or Heavier guys they seem to have a real problem tapping if I get a submission hold on them.

Of course this is not true in all cases but in many cases it seems to be true.  I can be rolling with a 35 year old Blue Belt that weighs about 10 lbs more then me and we are rolling at a good pace and the flow is good.  Then I just happen to catch them in a Submission and for the rest of the round they are going crazy trying to get even.  They change the intensity of their roll and start going much harder.  I get it.  I understand what is going on.  The Ego has been bruised as they have been tapped by an old man.  They then need to get a Sub on me before the end of the round to save their pride.

Once while Sparring with a  Big Purple Belt who had about 50 lbs on me and was 25 years younger (I'm 55 160 lbs)  I caught him in a Triangle.  He went crazy to get out but it was just really tight.  He lifted me and slammed me on the mat.  I let go and asked him if he was okay.  He came at me with fire in his eye and like a Grizzly Bear picked me up and threw me across the mat.   I looked up just to see him coming at me.  I told him stop.  Calm down.  I can't spar with you when you are this angry.  I'm going to get hurt.  After about 30 seconds we bumped hands and continued the roll.

I have talked to many Women who feel the same way.  That many guys would rather pass out then Tap to a Women.  Now the new White Belts have no problem tapping.  They have been humbled and have been tapped by the Women and Old guys at the Gym so they really have no Ego.  The Problem is the guys who think that they should never tap to a lower belt, a woman or anyone that is smaller then them and over 50.  I do BJJ a lot when I travel and this is not just the case at one Gym.  This happen at places all over.

Okay tell me why I am wrong.  I do know of higher belts who will actually just tap when you get them in a good position and move on but most  won't and are not really leaving their Ego's at the Door.

Why do so many try to pull others down.

I love BJJ.  I wish I could do it full time.  I, like many of you have a job that keeps us away from BJJ at times but it also helps us support our BJJ addiction.  My wife always wonders why I spend so much money on BJJ,  I buy Gi's (I have at  least 15 of them) and support the industry.  I sign up for tournaments and pay to travel to get there.  I pay dues each month and also pay for private lessons some times. I also pay for Team Gear and support the team when they have Seminars.   I am paying a lot to do Jiu Jitsu and I am happy to do it.

Lately I have been making patches for some of the local BJJ Schools.  We have a good factory we work with that gives us great prices and we pass those great prices on to the buyers.  This factory is a friend of mine who does me a favor by doing small runs.  They  make embroidered patches for Disney, Coke, Universal Studios, Ralph Lauren, Target etc. They are a certified vendor for these companies.   This is a good company making high end patches.  You may ask me what the problem is?  Let me tell you what the problem is.  The problem is the crabs.

There is an old story that goes if you catch a two crabs and put them in a bucket then you don't need to put a lid on the bucket because when one crab tries to get out the other crab will pull it back down. Of course this is just nature but it looks like  the one crab does not want to let the other crab improve it's situation by getting out of the bucket.  I feel like this is the case when I post something on a Public Forum or Social Media letting people know that I can make Embroidered Patches.  The boobirds come out complaining that I should not be using that medium to promote my product.  Why not?  I'm not posting something every hour trying to promote this product.  I know that the key to getting sales with  these patches is to find a team that needs patches or just ran out of patches and is looking to order some.  How do I get the word out if I don't use my contacts on Social Media and Public Forums I frequent.  I would think (hope) other BJJ Practitioners would be happy to help a fellow jiujiteor to cover some of his cost incurred on their JiuJitsu Journey.

To be honest I understand not wanting to be spammed  and if a guy is selling sunglasses or something unrelated to BJJ I would agree it has no place on a forum but this is an item that many JiuJitsu Teams need and are looking for a reliable vendor.

What do you think?  What are you suggestions.  Let me know I am all ears. (Cauliflower Ears LOL)